What's with the accent?

It's hard for me to open a book and read, especially if it's my own language.

People might disagree and say 'it's your own mother tongue, how hard can it be?'

you speak it everyday, you read it everyday.

it's hard for me because i can't even open my heart to begin to understand or even translate the words that pop in my head or form a full sentence in my own language without adding a little english in it.

my dad complains it's because i am an arrogant, spoilt teenager that thinks to highly of herself and doesn't even knw that she's malay. I might say that i have to agree with what he said. It may sound harsh but it's the truth. I do look down on my own language and now it's come to bite me back in my ass during SPM.Which brings me back all the way to the starting line and the only option i have right now for my future sake (as my dad puts it): I have to retake the test again in June. 

Theres no reason for me to blame it on something or someone why i am soo arrogant and stubborn to learn and like my own mother tongue.

If i were to lay out all the reasons why, i would just sound like a stubborn brat. hahaha

well..

it just sucks that you have to start from the very beginning.

Selamat Tinggal

hahahahaha