The future freaks me out.

Let's get fucked up and die..
I'm speaking figuratively, of course..
Like the last time that I committed suicide.. social suicide..
Yeah, so I'm already dead on the inside,
But I can still pretend with my memories and photographs,
I have learned to love the lie.

A snippet of a lyric sung by Justin Pierre. I'm beginning to like that line a lot. Call me dark but it's got meaning to it.

to irah,

thanks a bunch for writing me a birthday wish on your blog. Plus you made my day even more by posting a picture of Gerard Butler. Too bad you couldn't get a more *ehem* smexy picture of him due to people around you. haha

we must travel halfway around the globe to Ireland, so i can find me own irish lad...

i'm not kidding, we have too. :D

*drum roll pls*

I am finally eighteen. i guess its like being at the entrance of adulthood.

quote: the future freaks me out.

it comes from a song by MCS, and every time someone mentions the future to me, i have the urge to scream that sentence to them.

but you knw, we all no better to hide it and just face what we are up against.

whats life if we don't do that right?

again, so prior to being eighteen for already 22 hours. i googled: Things you can do when you turn eighteen.

results:

1. buy cigarettes
2. ... tear them up in front of the minors in front of the store who are trying to get people to buy cigarettes for them. [laugh]
3. legally buy pornography
4. take naked pictures of self. [no longer child porn.]
5. apply for a job at a gas station ... actually have a shot at getting it.
6. register to vote
7. go on a road trip without parental consent
8. get a body piercing
9. get a tattoo10. get your driver's license [if you don't already have it]
11. rent a camp ground
12. get a cell phone plan in your own name.
13. rent a hotel room. [have your party there.]
14. open up a checking account.
15. stay out as late as you please.
16. get a blockbuster card.
17. get a credit card [not recommended, though]
18. petition your government with something you feel strongly about ... and have them take you seriously. You actually have a shot now that you can vote them out of office.

yes, the wonders of being eighteen. it sounds scary and yet exciting. haha

though most of them are useless.

why the hell would i:

a) want to buy porn.do girls buy porn?

b) buy fags. come on.. they are selling fags like candies to little kids in malaysia here.

c) take naked pictures of myself..whuttaya talking about.

d) staying up late as long as i want. i've been doing that since i was ....a kid

i really like number 7. so maybe i would go for that :D

irah... lets go to ireland haha

would that be counted as a road trip?

it's freaking lame that i spent my first day being 8teen at home because there was a freaking haze and i couldn't step out of the house without sneezing. God! i hate the city/suburban area.

congested+polluted = sick me.

so yes, im thinking that i need to walk around with an air filter around my nose, maybe like a darth vader mask. he sure looks like he has one with all those heavy breathing coming out of him hahah

Its bad/horrid/awful living in the whole city area cause its polluted and all but seriously, imagine me living in the rural or kampung areas. i knw its stupid/shallow/uncultured of me but when i think of villages or kampungs in malaysia. i think of padi, chickens running loose and hantu pontianak roaming those wooden houses scaring the shit out of the villagers.

all this comes from watchng malay dramas where their villages are always...always enveloped by smoke at night rightttttt before the pontianak comes out for some fun and the fake screamng of the villagers.

screaming: Pontianak!! lari masuk rumah!!

and obviously someone just has to fall down and scream: tolong!! tolong!! * and its always a girl*

and then some religious man or the penghulu (leader of the village) will come and say some crap in malay.. blah ..blah and shoo the pontianak away and she will be like: bitch!! you ruined my fun. *in her thoughts* and swoop into the night with a chilling laughter.

and finally a meeting will happen amongst the villagers and the religious/penghulu person will alwayss....always be the one to expose the true pontianak or what she wants.

very cliche. if i must say. but still entertaining to watch. don't you think? im being such a racist to my own kind. -_-

okay im freaking crapping now. so yes comment if u do knw the name of the story cause i totally forgt.

ive never actually been to a kampong/village in my 8teen years of life. no kidding. im pretty weird as a malay child.

eighteen years and ive never really had a normal malay life i.e having a set of grandparents or more like malay religious/traditional grandparents...never celebrating raya at a kampung(which i want to)..i dont call my aunties/uncles pak ngah or mak ngah..never called anyone bang or kak coz noone in my family says it..and it feels weird for me to do so.

you must think im being...*obnoxious*

no! im not being obnoxious and perasan.

if you think i am, then maybe its cause you're jealous you're not a fucked up malay child. haha

it sucks sometimes, like when marissa, irah and tina talk abt this malay shows or actresses and im like -_- "huh?" or how tina went to akademi fantasia the final concert. haha i knw it has nothing to do with the topic. but its funny. haha

okay this blog is cacat.. it goes from one topic to another.so membelit or is it terbelit?. i better stop. im sorry if you dont understand... just shoot me :D

since i didnt have a cake for this year, compared to 4 cakes last year. god! i miss last year.

im wishing for:

Jared Followill.

(arab, shut up and don't laugh)

partyyyy hard.

till next time,

Selamat Tinggal.